Wednesday, October 15, 2008

STARFISH

by Eleanor Lerman, from Our Post-Soviet History Unfolds.

 

Starfish

This is what life does. It lets you walk up to
the store to buy breakfast and the paper, on a
stiff knee. It lets you choose the way you have
your eggs, your coffee. Then it sits a fisherman
down beside you at the counter who says, Last night,
the channel was full of starfish. And you wonder,
is this a message, finally, or just another day?

Life lets you take the dog for a walk down to the
pond, where whole generations of biological
processes are boiling beneath the mud. Reeds
speak to you of the natural world: they whisper,
they sing. And herons pass by. Are you old
enough to appreciate the moment? Too old?
There is movement beneath the water, but it
may be nothing. There may be nothing going on.

And then life suggests that you remember the
years you ran around, the years you developed
a shocking lifestyle, advocated careless abandon,
owned a chilly heart. Upon reflection, you are
genuinely surprised to find how quiet you have
become. And then life lets you go home to think
about all this. Which you do, for quite a long time.
Later, you wake up beside your old love, the one
who never had any conditions, the one who waited
you out. This is life's way of letting you know that
you are lucky. (It won't give you smart or brave,
so you'll have to settle for lucky.) Because you
were born at a good time. Because you were able
to listen when people spoke to you. Because you
stopped when you should have and started again.
So life lets you have a sandwich, and pie for your
late night dessert. (Pie for the dog, as well.) And
then life sends you back to bed, to dreamland,
while outside, the starfish drift through the channel,
with smiles on their starry faces as they head
out to deep water, to the far and boundless sea.


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

being through

the last of the children
has nearly grown
three more years

the empathy never ends
their pain, mine

nothing I can say

They must endure
I must endure

And then, the writing
Dan writes for free, with glee

Chuck writes for free
"I am nothing but busy," he says

I close my eyes

remember
vainly
in vain

children as children
and the work that mattered
back when

Sunday, September 14, 2008

David Foster Wallace

It is odd that both Richard Powers and David Foster Wallace have lived in Urbana, something about the twin cities, something about the corn, fertilizes a certain way of thinking, perhaps. The obituaries say too little about DFW's mother, Sally. A few years older than me, she acted on the stage at Parkland College where we both taught. Her hair was naturally white, not from age. She was a fine actor, a very keen mind, and kind. She always resisted the fame of her son, rolled her eyes. But I couldn't read DFW and still cannot. He says he wanted to write something sad; most people called his work funny. Not me. He was right the first time. It was sad. All those cultural references and bizarre combinations and complications of culture. I think the event of Sarah Palin killed him, something so absurd he couldn't have invented it even in his wildest dreams, and coming on the heels of eight years of cultural, theocratic chaos and war, following in the footsteps of September 11, by days. I understand his sensibility, even without having read him, much. He had stopped giving readings. I saw him read at Pages for All Ages back when he did. He wore a leather jacket. We share only a nicotine addiction in common, a smokeless tobacco affliction. My basement is still flooded. This old house is crumbling and we will sit in it and watch the world float away for the years to come. We cannot leave. Days like this I am relieved to be an appreciator more than an artist, a critic more than a creator.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

poetry readings

by Charles Bukowski

poetry readings have to be some of the saddest
damned things ever,
the gathering of the clansmen and clanladies,
week after week, month after month, year
after year,
getting old together,
reading on to tiny gatherings,
still hoping their genius will be
discovered,
making tapes together, discs together,
sweating for applause
they read basically to and for
each other,
they can't find a New York publisher
or one
within miles,
but they read on and on
in the poetry holes of America,
never daunted,
never considering the possibility that
their talent might be
thin, almost invisible,
they read on and on
before their mothers, their sisters, their husbands,
their wives, their friends, the other poets
and the handful of idiots who have wandered
in
from nowhere.

I am ashamed for them,
I am ashamed that they have to bolster each other,
I am ashamed for their lisping egos,
their lack of guts.

if these are our creators,
please, please give me something else:

a drunken plumber at a bowling alley,
a prelim boy in a four rounder,
a jock guiding his horse through along the
rail,
a bartender on last call,
a waitress pouring me a coffee,
a drunk sleeping in a deserted doorway,
a dog munching a dry bone,
an elephant's fart in a circus tent,
a 6 p.m. freeway crush,
the mailman telling a dirty joke

anything
anything
but
these.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Existential August: Gay Fries

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Monday, August 18, 2008

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Script for Video

This man is a gypsy.

He conned the system for over forty years.

He lives on the fringes, underground.

He survives through loopholes.

Using scholarships, dumpsters, government assistance, health clinics, press privileges, lottery and discount access, libraries and online downloads, he found ways to do everything for free, to go everywhere for free, to fly from Greece to Ecuador, and most points in between, to get everything for free, or almost free, for free, free.

Most people try to make money, to buy the things they don't have time to create, because they are busy making money.

He prefers his system.

He posed as a film critic, an author, a university instructor, a newspaper editor, an artist, a missionary, a husband and a father.

He even posed as a gypsy, a do-nothing bohemian.

He is none of these things.

He has no future.

He's a field lily, a purple surprise lily.

New York is dead, a ghost world.

The corner grocery store on Bank Street is gone.

The sex-drenched piers have been paved over for baby strollers.

St. Marks Place is buried in tourist t-shirt stores.

CBGB has been replaced by designer jeans.

Kiev is a Korean restaurant now.

The pool table at The Bar on 2nd Avenue has disappeared.

The Bar itself has disappeared.

He has no place left to hide.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Bill muses on New York, 12 August 2008

"Love is dead when you have too much memory."
"Go on."
"That's it."
He laughs.
He snorts.
"I did not snort."
He drinks.
"Budweiser. The best Belgian beer in town."
"How do you spell Belgian?"
"B-E-L-G-I-A-N?"
Silence.
"Talk about Hair."
"I think you should go see Boing-Boing. I think you'd really like it."
"Well, maybe if I don't get into Hair."
"You know how fifty is the new forty. Boing-Boing is the new Hair."
He snorts.
He drinks.
He proceeds in a series of unpronounceable syllables that end in "Chinese junk."
"This is a bad blog entry."
"Erase it. That's the joy of technology. You can erase your entire mistake."





12 agosto 2008: notas del viaje


washington heights smells
like san juan
pizza carnes bad spanish home

three people ask me for directions
my marker
proof of home

my pink floyd t-shirt
starts conversations
guys in park, admirable
construction worker

no idea what to write
re: sixties
and hair in the park

"too much memory"
another antigone
in fringe festival
fringe all week
might not see broadway
tonight: necrophiliac musical
forget the lion king

no need to do anything
but mortality reminders
and how fast it all goes

reading david carr
night of the gun
addictions

the subway ride
seems like a hundred
latino day campers

like being in the middle
of a popcorn popper

the whole town strikes me again
safer than a padded playpen

Sunday, August 10, 2008

10 agosto 2008: and so it begins


the jaw dropping by the church lady
when in passing
i mention le cirque

shocking the bourgeoisie
as a child
leading to boasts
to inspire a jealousy
i never recognized

finally, the middle age
a lack of anything respectable

a showy depredation
my final weapon

to elicit that look
that expression
that seems
like a climax
real
and unrehearsed

that has been the satisfaction
of a life

but, this is different
this time

i leave for new york again
this morning
frivolously

to revisit nostalgia

and see the musical hair
in central park

and walk the ramble

not in anticipation
of the slightest shock

or anything resembling
getting lucky

at this point
it's my work

Friday, August 08, 2008

Hick City, issue #3




Hick City, issue #2





Hair today




Tuesday, August 05, 2008

The Content and the Character

The nature and purpose of this blog continues to change, to mutate, to surprise me. It has veered from the political to the nostalgic, from the egocentric to the abstract.

It is like a scrapbook or a thrift shop. Sometimes it reminds me of performance art. Or a chronicle of a rich and anonymous life.

Apropos of nothing, this came to me while walking in the postdawn drizzle this morning:

If there is an entity known as the Antichrist, it would not be a horned, fire-breathing devil. It would be of a pleasing countenance, clean and lovely, beloved, convincing in and convinced of its righteousness, proclaiming to support and represent the banner of Christ. At the same time, while appearing to be about goodness and light, that same entity in reality, as observable by its actions, would carry out works of corruption and power, of divisiveness and hate, of torture and violence, and of bottomless greed. In other words, if in history there is an entity known as the Antichrist, it would most resemble the Conservative Christian Fundamentalist Republican movement.

Or, might John McCain be the Antichrist? They think so here.

The hybrid goes south



Saturday, August 02, 2008

Friday, August 01, 2008

Donnie



Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Letter from Natalie when I was in jail, 1969


Letter to the editor of the Chicago Seed, 1969


Make up a story with these images...

(Bruce Conner with Penelope of the Avengers in San Francisco)
(Rude boy in Rome)

(A Mayan village where Rude Boy lived for two weeks)
(James Broughton, film poet, at Athens Film Festival)


(Theater maverick Beau O'Reilly at a party, with Scott Mutter)

Monday, July 28, 2008

B. Ruby Rich

Ruby and I shared lunch during the Chicago Film Festival and carried on a correspondence for a while. I found two of her letters in the box in the basement. A wonderful film critic, still.

Joey Ramone


I have completely lost the photo of me and Joey buying shampoo in an Osco Drug Store. I think someone stole it. But you can see this is from when they performed in the tiny Red Lion in Champaign. They were so loud. Gabba gabba.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Kevin Barry Howe, co-host of Picking Your Seat

Bad Plaid Shirts Even Then

Someone stop me before I scan more.

Picking Your Seat At The Movies

Kevin Barry Howe and I had this long-running cable TV show parodying Siskel and Ebert. We were probably the first to do this. Nobody got it, least of all the distributors who sent us film clips to use. I have Kevin's picture taken from the screen here someplace. I'll post it later.

Michaelangelo Antonioni


The face in the background. I couldn't get closer. I was awestruck, I suppose. It was at Cannes, I forget which year.

David Johansson


I interviewed Johannsson and Sylvain Sylvain. Johannsson was extremely clever and affable. Sylvain, not so much.

In Guatemala City

Friday, July 25, 2008

Editor


I was the publisher and editor of a punk rock newspaper called Hick City. Jeri Leek and Hellen were editorial assistants, I guess, but no one did much of anything. I must have been going for the Elvis Costello look. I'll see if I can find the picture of our Fourth of July float, with the entire staff playing rock and roll. The people watching the parade had no idea what to make of us.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

24 julio 2008: Write a caption for this picture

This picture was posed. It was supposed to be satirical. Probably about as funny as the Obama New Yorker cover, I guess. I wonder if I still have those Fonzie socks?