21 julio 2008: Trip Psychology

After six months
Or so
An ache

Unrecognized for what it is
At first

A month
Of angst
Goes by

Trapped
Insane

I need a day off
Away

Planning begins
Flight prices scanned
Googled

Suddenly (sharp intake of breath)
I click and buy

Suddenly then everything here
Is fine
Angst gone

I never want to leave.
What was I thinking?
This is the most beautiful place on earth.
Is it too late?
Can I back out?
I dread even the thought of going.
I Google the possibility
Of flight cancellation.

But I go
I force myself to pack
Each toiletry item
A heavy heart
I know the routine

Finally, I feel the pull of gravity
As the ground beneath me falls away
On the runway

And, one day later, I will have forgotten
ResponsibilityIdentityHomeEverything

InvisibleUnconsciousRecharging

It worked.

Rinse and repeat
Every six months or so

This is the way
it has been
since 1982

I blame the babies
Who are no longer
Babies

But when
Is the time
I never have to leave?

O demon of the peripatetic
O guru of simplicity
Tell me that