14 mayo 2008: Regret

the pit of my stomach tightens
sometimes i sweat
when i remember
the times i denied art

when i insisted we leave lollapalooza
before the prodigy played
the band ernie wanted to see, he was maybe 10
he probably doesn't even remember now
but i still regret it

when i refused to let ted
go experience the male strippers
in times square
because i knew it would be bad
but he perhaps needed something like that
and i don't think he ever forgave me
for dragging him someplace else

scott was desperate to see liza minnelli
in, i don't know, the rink or the act,
and even though i was the one getting
press comps, i just couldn't bring myself
to do it
now i wish i had

bill wanted to see the end of
joe vs. the volcano
and i didn't
i wanted to leave
and now i regret it
and i don't even know where he lives any more

so that is my story
my judgment day apology
things that feed my nightmares
i must have done worse things
but i don't remember